Curing my “Martha Complex” with a “Mary Diet”

I am thankful for a new year and a fresh start! At the end of 2016, I was dragging. I felt like there were hundreds of things I needed to do and no time to do them. I couldn’t determine what was most important to do and ended up just kind of free falling the last few months. Getting by, but lacking the drive or desire to do anything. Because I couldn’t accomplish everything, I accomplished almost nothing. I think I figured if I was going to fail anyway, why try? It was a dark and discouraging time.

I guess it might be called “burn out” in the missionary world, but I am just going to call it the “Martha complex”. At the end of Luke 10, Jesus comes to visit Mary and Martha’s home. Martha spends the whole time preparing food and making things just right, while Mary sits with Jesus and listens to what He has to say. Martha gets upset and tells Jesus that Mary should help her. But Jesus say, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” That one thing? That was Jesus.

You would think that a missionary could figure that out. I suppose I have now and then, but tend to forget when the world crowds in and life gets busy. So, this year I started my “Mary diet” and we will see if I can stick to it. Around the 28^th of December the verse about the greatest command came to mind. Jesus is asked what the greatest command is and because there are so many, the religious rulers are hoping to stump Him. But Jesus replies (in Mark 12), “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.”

That got me thinking. If I am going to love God with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength; shouldn’t I be ‘flexing’ those muscles? Because right now, all I have to give is not a lot. So, I took a piece of paper, divided it into four sections and wrote: Heart, Mind, Soul, and Strength in each. I then wrote 2 or 3 things that I could/should do to work on those areas. The Heart category had praying for a specific person each week and trying to write them an encouraging note (I bought a bunch of postcards for that), the Mind category had memorizing the book of Philippians throughout the year, the Soul category included books of the Bible that I wanted to do a Bible Study and/or devotional on, and the Strength category mapped out an exercise program that I am working on. Some of these categories work together (the Soul and Mind/Heart and Soul/Strength and Mind…I sometimes memorize while I exercise), but it has been helpful to place my focus on what really matters.

Yes, I still have much to do every day, in fact, in some ways I have more, but my focus is on the “one thing” that matters. The clouds have cleared in my heart and mind and my soul is rejoicing in the Joy of living for the Lord. My energy is renewed from the exercise and I am thankful for God’s wisdom and leading in my life. The “Mary Diet” might not be for everyone, but it has been a God send for me. 🙂

My Togo Homecoming

As most of you know, I have returned from my trip to Togo. Things have been a bit hectic and despite the ‘short’ visit, a part of me feels like I was there for at least a year. The adjustment has been interesting.

I didn’t write from Togo South. The internet was pretty uncertain and though facebook people got short updates, that was all I was able to manage. I can’t being to explain the homecoming I had. Togo South (in the village of Tsiko, pronounced Chee-co) is where I will be living once I raise my support, go to language school, and begin my mission of teaching the MKs (Missionary Kids) that live in Tsiko. There will be around 26 kids, give or take a few every year, to teach. Since every four years missionaries return ‘home’ to raise additional support and reconnect with churches, the kids I teach each year will vary.

I woke up the morning we would travel to Tsiko with anticipation. The phrases, “I get to see my home today.” and “I’m going home!” reverberated in my mind quite often on our 8 to 10 hour drive from Mango in the north to Tisko in the south. The trip didn’t feel so long, not with the long awaited location at the end. Once we were an hour out, my eyes focused on the landscape, which had been changing bit by bit as we traveled further south. The grass was taller, the world greener, and there were lots of hills (I can’t call them mountains, since I live at 900 feet here in the states, but some people did.). A far cry from The Gambia, where it was very flat and very little green. Here, the grass was taller than me! True, it is rainy season, but still!

As we pulled into the compound, it all looked beautiful to me: the hospital, the print shop, the wood and metal shops, the houses, and especially the people. Despite the humidity, exiting the van was something I couldn’t wait to do. The 10 days I spent there were wonderful and full. There were a lot of comings and goings while I was there. (16 of us left the same day and at least 5 others arrived while we were there) Since the full-timers were pretty busy, much of my time was my own. I visited my future home (some short-termers were living there since the compound was rather full), which is connected to the MK school. The school building is just what I imagined and I took measurements so I could started figuring out how I might set up my classroom.

Sunday was the highlight of my stay. It was also my birthday. I dressed in my new Togolese outfit and walked to the village church. The service was in French and Ewe (a local language), but for some explainable reason, it felt like my home church. The evening missionary service also had a peace and Holy Spirit’s presence. I was home! This birthday in Togo was the start of a new era in my life. Looking forward to being ‘home’ for good.

Perspective (Togo part 2)

So, for those of you who missed it, I spent the last two days feeling sick enough to spend the majority of my time in bed. Today I was some better and watched the Chmil kids until lunch, after which I went over to the hospital to have my rash looked at. The so-called rash appears to be ringworm and is spreading. Hooray! Also, I picked up an inhaler as my asthma has been a bit of an issue. With all those things in mind, I wrote this. Enjoy!

West Africa, a place teaming with mosquito, malaria, Ebola, scorpions, and snakes, a place once called the white man’s grave, yet here we are. What is it that brings so many to this land? Is it the scorching sun, the harmattan winds, or maybe the plethora of bugs? No, all of this would turn any sane person away from such a crazy venture. What then draws us to this place?
Perspective, not an earthly perspective that sees only the heartache, struggles, and suffering, but an eternal perspective that sees a need, a need that only can be filled by our Savior, Jesus Christ. This need compels us to go, the words of Paul reverberating in our ears. “…how are they to believe in him whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent?” We are the SENT, not perfect, not even good on our own, we are called to a purpose and we have obeyed. Some think that such a choice is crazy, others believe that this call makes us ‘more Christian’. Not so! Every person is called to a place and to a purpose. Some are sent, some the senders, others come alongside with encouragement and prayer, and most have a ‘mission field’ right where they are. As with the body, we all have different roles to play, but each one is unique and important. We are all called to follow Christ wherever He leads us and it is my prayer that each one of you is prayerfully seeking God’s plan for your life, one step at a time and one day at a time.
Peter struggled with perspective when he stepped out on the water to walk to Jesus. Instead of focusing on Jesus’ power, strength, and ability, Peter saw the waves, the storm, and the voice of ‘reason’ telling him he couldn’t walk on water. In some ways Peter was right, HE couldn’t do it, not in his own power, neither can we. One of the first lessons in missions that I learned was “I can’t do it, but God can.” Any false perceptions of my own abilities flew out the window as I witnessed a world full of challenges and dangers and people that I didn’t know or understand. Without the proper perspective, I never would have gotten out of the boat or, having taken the first step, sunk below the waves, overwhelmed by my inabilities. Luckily, God in His grace whispers to me, “It’s not on you to do well. I got this, just hang on and enjoy the ride.” And what a wild ride it has been! As I look on towards the horizon and a new adventure’s dawning, it is good for me to remember that lesson on perspective.

In Togo (part 1)

After hours upon hours of flying and airport waiting, then 8 1/2 hours of driving (after a night in the capital), we have arrived! Togo North is a LONG drive from the capital, but it was surprisingly smooth traveling, at least for a third world country. The car even had AC (the kids and I had to use blankets and jackets to keep warm). The weather outside is another story. It is humid and hot, but so good to finally be here! Of course, my body has the strangest idea of jet lag (likely related to over a day with only 3 to 5 hours of sleep), so I woke up at 2 a.m. and haven’t been able to sleep since. Will try to take a nap once this is done. First real day on the ground, it will probably be busy.

The kids and I are getting on famously. I like kids and they like me, so all is well in that realm. I will likely spend much of the coming week keeping an eye on the 4 some while mom and dad get involved in ministry here so they can get a feel for things. Since they are trying to decide between the North or South, the more they can scope things out, the better.

As I looked out the window of our plane during the decent, it all looked so familiar. I know part of that is because I spent some time in The Gambia, West Africa and the climate and such is similar, but I like to think that part of it was the realization that this is (or will be in a few years) home. Dirt roads, grass huts, humidity, and lots of green plants. Sounds right up my alley. 🙂 Will try to write again soon (so long as the internet is working). Thanks for praying!

To Go to TOGO

This Saturday I will be boarding a plane to head back east where I will meet up with the Chmil family, then board a second plane headed for TOGO! We will be spending a month there, checking out both the north and south teams, asking questions, and getting to know the missionaries and (hopefully) some of the nationals. For me, it will be a chance to see my future home, meet my future teammates and my future students, as well as learn more about what I need to bring and get to know this place called Togo.

How many of you have seen the To Go signs? It seems like the more I look, the more they keep appearing. Since my plans to head to Togo have begun, I have read those signs quite differently. Instead of To Go, I read them TOGO and pray for the missionaries there as I smile at God’s little reminder of my future home.

With that in mind, I’d like to issue you a challenge (or a request). Whenever you see a To Go sign, please pray for me and the other missionaries in Togo. In our fast pace world, To Go means something quick and easy, but my journey to Togo will not be quick or easy. I can’t just board a plane and get started (though the thought has crossed my mind). I have to be prepared: raise support, gain more prayer partners, and grow in my understanding and language skills. It won’t be easy, if it was, I’d wonder if we were doing things right. Satan wants us to fail and Togo North has seen and suffered from Satan’s attempts to ruin their ministries and shipwreck their faith. Praise God for His mercy and protection as they continue to serve Him in the midst of trials and hurts! He is faithful and He is good! Thank you for your prayers. Lord willing, next time I write will be from Togo! 😀

Blessing Day

When I was a kid, I came to realize that the number 13 looks an awful lot like the letter B, plus a lot of people made it sound like the number 13 was unlucky. Now, I have never believed in luck, but if everyone else was going to think 13 was a negative number, then I was going to be the opposite. I began to call the 13th “B day” and got a kick out of people who responded to my “Happy B day” with “It’s not my Birthday”. My cousin also picked this up, and claimed that, if anything, the 13th was his lucky day. So, B day became the ‘lucky day’ for my family, or at least the random day of the month that I/we claimed was special. I’d start the day with a smile, convinced that the day was somehow brighter because it was the 13th.

I still wish people a Happy B day, but the day has changed for me. It isn’t the day I expect good things, it is the day I look for good things. When I was in Africa I went a step further and began to think of the 13th as the Day of Blessing, since blessing starts with B. On the 13th, I tend to wish those I am thankful for a happy B day, then I begin to list my blessings in my mind. When something goes wrong, I think “at least ____ didn’t happen” filling the blank with something worse that could have happened. Even on days that are not B days I have developed this attitude. I think it has made me more thankful and less upset with things that happen in life. God is on His throne and He protects us from many things and blesses us beyond what we deserve. So, this B day, I wanted to share my day with you, in the hopes that you, too, would find a Blessing Day and praise God for His many blessings in your life.

 

Survey Trip

When I embarked on this journey, it was with eyes wide open. I have seen other cultures and been through culture shock, dealt with health issues, and experienced a world far different than my own. That’s not to say that Togo won’t be foreign, because it will, but having experienced a cross-cultural adventure already, I like to think that I am more prepared than I would have been 6 years ago. Togo, for me, has been a very distant goal. Not only is it on the other side of the world, but before I can begin my work there I must raise the support and go to language school. Even if everything came together quickly, Togo would still be 2 years down the road. So, as excited as I am about Togo, it has been hard to think about, when there is so much going on in the here and now.

Enter the Chmil family, a wonderful couple with 4 kids that I met at Pre-field (training we went to that ended with our becoming ABWE missionaries). Steve, a surgeon, and his wife Bethany (what a great name!) are raising support with the hope of going to Togo. Because we are going to the same field and I enjoy children, they have invited me to join them on their “survey trip” to Togo! This trip will give them an idea of what the ministries in both North and South Togo look like, as well as give their kids a chance to check out their new home and understand what Mom and Dad are getting them into. 🙂

That in and of itself makes for a pretty cool story, I mean, traveling with other people over the ocean is much nicer than traveling alone. However, the Chmils took it a step further and offered to pay my airfare! Do we or do we not serve an awesome God!? Here I am, this lone missionary starting a life long journey full of uncertainties and challenges, and God chooses to add blessing upon blessing. This offer came BEFORE I was even an official missionary. It was like God was saying, “Bethany, I want you in Togo, here’s some friends to make the journey easier, oh, and just because I can, how about a free trip to your future home?” Yeah, that’s my God!

So, unless things change, I will be heading to Togo this summer! The tentative dates are the 14^th of August until the 8^th of September. Please be praying as I make this trip. Pray also for the Chmil clan, I think this is the first overseas trip that the kids have had and entering a foreign world where few speak your language can be hard. Pray that the kids will fall in love with the culture and the people, so that this support raising that their parents are doing becomes something that matters to them, as well.

To give to either the Chmils or my ministry, you can click on the “Give” or “Give Monthly” icon. (For the Chmils use ‘Steven and Bethany Chmil’) Because they are a good size family and I am single, it is going to take them longer to reach the field. Please pray for encouragement and perseverance for the Chmils. My monthly needs are relatively small. I have come to realize that if 50 people supported my ministry at $50/month, I would have full monthly support and would only need to raise one time gifts for my travel, language school, vehicle, and other set up costs. I appreciate your prayerful consideration, but trust that God’s leading will draw the right financial supporters.  Most of all, I appreciate your prayers. They are always a blessing!

Steve and Bethany

Introducing Me!

My name is Bethany Caldwell and it is my desire to spend my years teaching the Missionary Kids (MKs) of Togo, West Africa. I grew up exploring orchards and roaming the woods with my 5 younger siblings. I also enjoyed helping the younger kids at my K-12 school. Our family motto became There’s always room for one more. I remember countless friends or relatives who stayed with us throughout the years. My parents adopted 3 children as well. The open doors led to open hearts, willing to give beyond ourselves for others.

Valley Baptist Church of Perrydale is my home church. My pastors have been president of Western Baptist College (now Corban University) or head of the theological department there. Our head pastor, Greg Trull, has been at Perrydale for 25 years and has a passion for missions, especially Africa. He has encouraged me in my journey.

My heart wasn’t always excited about being a missionary. In middle school, my youth pastor spoke about being willing to do anything God calls us to. That evening I told God that I would do anything…except go to Africa or be a missionary. In that moment, I knew God wanted me to do just that. I fought Him until my first year of college. There was just no peace in doing things my way, so I half-heartedly surrendered, all the while hoping that one trip would be enough to make Him happy.

The ‘one trip’ came when I headed to the Gambia, West Africa as an MK teacher for a family with 4 MKs needing assistance. I purposely gave ABWE no indication of where to send me. Of course, it was Africa! In less than 2 months, God started to soften my heart. As I worked with the kids, shared their joys and struggles, and saw the difficulties that came with being n MK, I fell in love. I fell in love with the heartaches, the triumphs, the growth, and the hearts of those dear children. Because of this, my ‘one trip’ became 3 years. I caught the vision and the passion, and found my calling.

Togo has at least 20 MKs who need a teacher. The numbers will grow as more families arrive on the field. Presently, the kids are all under the age of 13. That is a lot for the 6 or more moms to teach and care for. I want to come alongside them and teach the older ones, giving the parents some relief and an ability to be more involved in ministering to the people of Togo. Of course, I won’t be teaching all the time and look forward to opportunities to develop friendships with the nationals and missionaries alike, sharing God’s word and love as I try to fill needs and encourage them.

I am looking for brothers and sisters with a passion for God’s work and a heart for the missionaries, missionary kids and the nationals of Togo to partner with me. On March 14^th, I became a full-time missionary with ABWE. I am now in the support raising phase. If you are interested in joining me on this journey, be it financially or in prayer, feel free to email me at thewanderer13@gmail.com. I’d love to add you to my mailing (emailing) list. For giving, you can also go to www.abwe.org/give. My ABWE account number is 0190341. Thank you for listening to my story!